Mech Goblins

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Physical Attributes

Mech Goblyns are smaller than your standard Goblyn, standing at about 3’6” after being fully grown. They also have a wide variation in body types. Once in a while, one gets the idea of replacing bones with much longer metal rods to increase height. Most of these attempts have resulted in death, however, due to rust poisoning. All mech goblyns exhibit the common signifiers by covering their elbows and knees, but the general mech signifiers are welding or other 'safety' goggles and cogs. Common traits include but are not limited to: cunning, trickery, violence, aggression, ego, and self preservation. Mech Goblyns understand that once a goblyn dies it will come back weaker, so unlike other goblyns they have a much stronger sense of self preservation.

Mental Attributes

Mech Goblyns are just as smart as all Goblyns are. However, should you ask one, he will surely tell you that they are immensely more intelligent. Mech Goblyns tend to have more of a knack for inventing new ways to get the job done (even if it's not necessarily any easier). Also, a Mech Goblyn can never turn down an opportunity to gamble, whether it be in a game of dice or smarting off to much larger monsters.


Because they are so immersed in their technology, Mech Goblyns care significantly less about the goblyn gods, which is saying something since most goblyns are not religious to begin with. In fact, Mech Goblyns tend to hold disdain for some of the Great Goblyns, specifically Neb and Reth due to their mistreatment of the Mechs during the Great War. This, however, is not to say that the Mech Goblyns do not have traditions and superstitions. The industry they immerse themselves in is as much a religion to them as any divine force.


Mech Goblyns are all born on the same day. This is because nine months before the Great Birthing Day is the holiday of St. Grox Day. On this day, all Mech Goblyns of age honor Grox by getting piss drunk and copulating until they pass out. Much like the other Goblyns, Mech Goblyn mothers seclude themselves in a closed off area to give birth. After the birthing, the new litters are released from the chambers and sent to the feast hall to dine on their first meal with their Goblyn brothers and sisters.

The Mecha Collective Union

There are three Mech Goblyn Tribes or 'Divisions' which work both independently and as a unified force in the MCU. Each of the three divisions also have their own unique signifier:

MechDoktas: Skalpl, Needle or Bonesaw / Surgical masks.
Alchamechs: Beakers and vials.
Mekanikers: Cogs, wrenches and tools.

History According to the MCU

In the beginning there was nothing, and the nothing was rage. Out of the nothing there came a something and that something was Melashekhaad, the most powerful being in the universe. Over the next few millennia, the moon the sun and the land was all created. The animals came to be and so too did the gods, creations of Melashekhaad. Eventually Melashekhaad wanted to create mortal life and after a slew of failed attempts (demi-gods, demons, angels, etc.) His eyes fell upon Pissran, the cat goddess. Now she was a horrible creature, disgusting in her hideousness but no one can question Melashekhaad, he saw her and knew he wanted her. So he did it like they do on the discovery channel and low and behold the first race was born, the Goblyns. Soon after the Goblyns were born the other gods wanted to follow suit and made their own beings. For a time all was well, the Goblyns ruled as the apex predator, the greatest race, and everything was just as it should be. But of course nothing lasts, and this great Golden age came to a crashing end with the Great war and the Betrayal of Baulk.

During the time of the Great War, the goblyns became more and more crafty with their armies. While True Goblyns were dying left and right and coming back weaker, the Great Goblyns refused to let this stop the green waves of War. Reth and Skrybitt trained the first Khadines and the Priesthood of Skrybitt began. Sifu and Suukra created the first Cabals of Witchdoktas, the powerful magik users utilizing the stolen Majikz of Pissran herself. Neb, on the other hand, sat and observed; he was untrusting of any Goblyn who bore the bite of Baulk. But then, he discovered that due to the curse of Baulk a small sect of Goblyns began to be born with a Genetic Anomaly which caused them to have a natural affinity for Mechanisms. Neb began gathering these Goblyns. He put them to work under one of his personal commanders, a Crow whose name has been lost to the sands and became known only as the Mekaniker (later the Grand Mekaniker). Thus the Mech Goblyns where born.

As the War ragged on, the Grand Mekaniker grew the Mech Goblyns from a small unit of mechanically inclined goblyns into a swath of green and metal. The Mekaniker gathered all of these Mechs and united them under him, creating the Coalition of Mechs. The Coalition was and is comprised of independent three tribes, the Mechs, the Alchamechs, and the MechaDoks. As the War raged and more true goblyns died, the Mekaniker placed his three best Mechs as tribal leaders. High Commander Mechanneer General El'uminum NoBoom, High Commander Grand Alchemech Bunsyn Fuey'Goz and finally High Commander Surgeon General Skalpl Styx. Each tribe had its own functions, and worked individually while under the Mekaniker's loose guidance.

War still raged on, and soon it became clear that things were not going in the Goblyns' favor. Every time they would win a battle, more would be reborn weak and not make it past the Snotling phase. This caused the Goblyn population to turn and blame the Coalition of Mechs. The Coalition was providing the weapons, the siege engines and the poisons and plagues that had kept the goblyns in the lead. Now that they were losing, it must be the Mechs fault. Soon the Alchamechs and MechDoktas became their own test subjects, they were mistreated and abused. The Mechs had it the worse; they became both the siege weapons and the bomb delivery system. All the while the Grand Mekaniker watched as his tribes became decimated and marred. Soon however, he would stand it no more.

The straw that broke the proverbial camel's back for the Mekaniker was the SVEN incident. One day on the front lines, the Goblyn Mechs were deployed to launch a new KaBoom created by the Alchamechs into the enemy line. The Mechs deployed a S.V.E.N. (Strategic Velocity Enhancement Node) to launch the KaBoom. However the Goblyn Commander at the time, a non-Mech, ordered that they use Sven to deploy the bomb. The Mechs around all agreed, assuming he meant the S.V.E.N. that they had deployed not three feet from him, but no, the Commander pointed at field engineer named Sven and said, GO. It was this blatant disregard for Mech technology and Mech Goblyn life that caused the Sven incident to travel like wildfire throughout the Mech tribes. Soon roar of "FOR SVEN" could be heard throughout the field labs and stations, the Mechs had spoken and the Grand Mekaniker listened. As the echoing "FOR SVEN" cries rose across the swath of the Green Goblyn Army, the Grand Mekaniker gathered the tribal leaders together. After what seemed to be an eternity of yelling, the Tribes had come to agreement. It was time to Unionize, and the the Mecha Collective Union was founded.

It was around the time of the founding of the MCU that things became very dire for the goblyns. Skrybitt and Sifu had left, Neb was gone and Reth was running out of options. It was when everything looked most dire that a Comet lit up the night like a fireball and flashed across the sky. Yet that comet did not bring hope and morale, instead it brought sorrow. A feeling of lost hope swept across the Goblyn hordes, as if their very teeth had been ripped from their bodies. As the Comet flew across the sky and the pines lit up in red, the Mekaniker gathered the MCU and initiated Operation F.O.L.L.O.W. (Follow Ominous Light Leading Our Way). The entire Mech Goblyn Union, lead by the Mekaniker, marched off into the dark and gloomy night, following the last bits of light from the tail of Skrybitt's comet. Thus began the great Mech Migration.

While the Ages of the World passed and the sands of time swayed and collected the masses of history, the MCU was hard pressed to continue Operation F.O.L.L.O.W. They ventured far, past the known worlds, past the dark forests and the dry deserts. Past the rivers and across the seas, all the while plotting the course based on the comet. Eventually the MCU reached a set of hills. It was here that their instruments were useless and even the stars could guide them no more. As the Mekaniker sat slumped against a boulder, frustrated that he had lead them all on a wild goose chase, a dark shaggy figure appeared to be walking towards them. The Mekaniker and Skalpal Styx intercepted the shambled figure. As they got closer, the Mekaniker began to wonder, where had he seen this creator before? It was not until they were within spitting distance from the dark figure that they could make out the rotting green face from the past. Standing before them was none other than Angu Urug, Suukras first apprentice, the Pariah. In their youth, the Mekaniker and Angu Urug had known each other, both served as Neb's commanders. In an act that few goblyns would ever experience, Angu Urug and the Mekaniker connected foreheads. Angu being an accomplished Witchdoktor in his own right, connected to the Mekaniker's mind. What was said is unknown, even to the sands of time, but what is known is what happened next. In the high hills under a crescent moon the ancient goblyns split. Angu stood, a red gleam in his eyes, and in a small motion he pointed across the hills to what looked like a wall of fog. The Ancient Goblyn than raised his hand and pointed upwards. Following his instruction, the Mekaniker looked up and saw that the wall of fog was broken by a spire, a mountaintop creeping out in the sky. The Mekaniker nodded and began to walk in the direction of the fog, while Skalpl Styx stood stunned, not sure what he had just witnessed.

As the Mecha Union began to follow the Mekaniker, Angu Urug simply faded away, ever wondering yet sure he would see the MCU once again. Again the MCU wondered off into the gray unknown following the Mekaniker. They journeyed until they reached the mountains in the fog. The mountains were massive and quite a few mechs were lost to the climb. But those who survived to follow the Mekaniker found themselves on the edge of an enormous crater. Sitting in the center of the crater emerged a giant rock, the comet of Skrybitt itself (minus his soul which became ethereal and the god of RAGE). The Mekaniker could be seen standing on the rock, arms stretched out. The Mechs rushed around the rock, each of the tribal leaders climbing to meet the Mekaniker. As the crater was filled with the tide of Green and Metal, the Mekaniker rose his arms yet higher and belted at the top of his lungs FOR SVEN!! That served as the spark to light the fire, the roars of For Sven echoed as far as the hills and valleys around the mountain. It was here that the Mecha Collective Union created the Great Laboratory and the MUE, the Mecha Union Empire.

Many moons have passed since the Mekaniker lead the MUE in Operation F.O.L.L.O.W. and much is still unknown of what occurred in the secret labs in the great mountain. What is known is that after enduring many years of the Age of Tribes, a new name was being whispered around many fires. A goblyn unlike any seen since Nebukhadnezzar himself, this Izareth Voldranai proposed a great unification of all goblyn tribes into his great skryll or Ur-Skryll. This message spread across the goblyn tribes like wildfire through the dry plains. It spread deep into the caverns where the Night Goblyns thrive, it spread north and south, east and west. It flew with the wind and the rain, across the hills and through the valleys. With it came the green tides of War and the cries of those whose misfortune brought them there. The Grand Mekaniker and the MUE were secluded high in the mountains, hidden, yet talk of Izareth's plans reached even to the highest peak, and the Grand Mekaniker grew intrigue. Still, he was wary of what real unification could entail, and he refused to allow the MCU to fall to its former nature. It was time for a plan.

The Grand Mekaniker told only his closest advisors his plan, to meet this Izareth, to test this goblyn's gumption and see with all the eyes of the MUE whether or not it was time to reunite the Goblyn empire. And so one night the Grand Mekaniker vanished. Yet the labs kept running, forges continued melting and smelting and the unique macabre creations of the Mechdoktas continued to confuse the rest of the Mechs. What actually occurred at the fated meeting between Izareth and the Mekaniker is unknown. What is known is that a few moons later, the MUE was re-integrated into the Ur-Skryll of Unification.

Mech Goblyns held no allegiances for centuries, and as such have developed ideal trading networks throughout the land. Many Mechs con other races into purchasing their goods, some have even been known to meddle with small human settlements as the “snakemen”. After the re-integration into the Ur-Skryll, some Mechs decided that they wanted to continue trading, and became a network of advanced scouts reporting troop movement, and other integral information. Mech Goblyns can never turn down the opportunity to impress and flaunt their own genius (even when they have done nothing genius at all). This is the current state of the Mech Goblyn tribes, as they stand today.

Known Mech Goblyns

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