Wizard Council
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*Is a storm a brewin' set to fuck up your party-picnic? Are horny ass ogres on the loose in your backyard? Did a shithead necromancer just bring your dead dog back to life? We handle that shit. Call us. We wiz. | *Is a storm a brewin' set to fuck up your party-picnic? Are horny ass ogres on the loose in your backyard? Did a shithead necromancer just bring your dead dog back to life? We handle that shit. Call us. We wiz. | ||
| − | *Street Cred: http://www.vice.com/read/LARP-harder | + | *Street Cred: http://www.vice.com/read/LARP-harder (in 2024, Vice Magazine shut down its website for good. This article has been transcribed here on the wiki at [[Vice Magazine Article]]) |
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==='''The Original Nine Council Wizards'''=== | ==='''The Original Nine Council Wizards'''=== | ||
| − | *'''Radaghast the Brown:''' [[Kade]] (bird | + | *'''Radaghast the Brown:''' [[Kade]] (bird magic) |
| − | *'''Metatron the Blue:''' [[Troll-Person|Troll]] (word | + | *'''Metatron the Blue:''' [[Troll-Person|Troll]] (word magic, inventor of robot magic) |
| − | *'''Guildenstern the Gold:''' [[Kurgan]] (key | + | *'''Guildenstern the Gold:''' [[Kurgan]] (key magic) |
| − | *'''Alexander the White:''' [[Aleksii]] (cultural appropriation | + | *'''Alexander the White:''' [[Aleksii]] (cultural appropriation magic) |
| − | *'''Pontius the Purple:''' [[Itan]] (purple | + | *'''Pontius the Purple:''' [[Itan]] (purple magic? duh.) |
| − | *'''Semen-X the Blur:''' [[Bishop]] (time | + | *'''Semen-X the Blur:''' [[Bishop]] (time magic, caretaker of the time matrix) |
| − | *'''Maldar the Magician:''' [[Bodmin]] (illusion | + | *'''Maldar the Magician:''' [[Bodmin]] (illusion magic) |
*'''Squim Squam the Shaman:''' [[Juicer]] (diversity hire) | *'''Squim Squam the Shaman:''' [[Juicer]] (diversity hire) | ||
| − | |||
==='''Full-Time Members'''=== | ==='''Full-Time Members'''=== | ||
| − | *Rosencrantz the Red: [[Fish]] (red-eye dank | + | *Rosencrantz the Red: [[Fish]] (red-eye dank magic) |
| − | *Orgent the Orange: [[Argent]] (laughing | + | *Orgent the Orange: [[Argent]] (laughing magic) |
*Faticus the Bland: [[Brute]] (master of cantrips) | *Faticus the Bland: [[Brute]] (master of cantrips) | ||
| − | *Man-O-Beer the Weird: [[Melee Moses]] (alcohol | + | *Man-O-Beer the Weird: [[Melee Moses]] (alcohol magic) |
| − | *Bilbongus the Percolated: [[Bilbo]] (tasty | + | *Bilbongus the Percolated: [[Bilbo]] (tasty magic) |
| − | *Bartlby the Baked | + | *Bartlby the Baked/AK47 the Black: [[Uargvak]] (black magic) |
| − | *Synthesus the Mellodick: [[Sare]] (shredulation | + | *Synthesus the Mellodick: [[Sare]] (shredulation magic) |
| − | *Def the Leopard: [[Ace (the dude Ace)]] (butt-rock | + | *Def the Leopard: [[Ace (the dude Ace)]] (butt-rock magic) |
*Complainicus the Annoying: [[Veithryn]] (master of complaintrips) | *Complainicus the Annoying: [[Veithryn]] (master of complaintrips) | ||
| − | *Cackitus Pam: [[Krow]] (interdimensional travelling | + | *Cackitus Pam: [[Krow]] (interdimensional travelling magic) |
*Hephaestus the Hasty: [[Marrick]] (Artifact creation) | *Hephaestus the Hasty: [[Marrick]] (Artifact creation) | ||
*Rodney of Blasting: [[Sybion]] (Destruction magic) | *Rodney of Blasting: [[Sybion]] (Destruction magic) | ||
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==='''Acolytes'''=== | ==='''Acolytes'''=== | ||
| − | *Yolo the Yellow: [[Poo]] (blunt-rolling | + | *Yolo the Yellow: [[Poo]] (blunt-rolling magic) |
| − | *Post-Humous the Destroyer: [[Postal]] (chaos | + | *Post-Humous the Destroyer: [[Postal]] (chaos magic) |
| − | *Dildongus the Diarrhea: [[Battle Christ]] (haggard | + | *Dildongus the Diarrhea: [[Battle Christ]] (haggard magic) |
| − | *Mojito the Mexican: [[Ruben]] (latino | + | *Mojito the Mexican: [[Ruben]] (latino magic) |
| − | * [[Bear]] (oso | + | * [[Bear]] (oso magic) |
==='''Affiliates'''=== | ==='''Affiliates'''=== | ||
*Brodo Faggins: [[Ralimar]] (grill ass bird) | *Brodo Faggins: [[Ralimar]] (grill ass bird) | ||
| − | *Kidontis the Forever Young: [[Rope]] (youth | + | *Kidontis the Forever Young: [[Rope]] (youth magic) |
| − | *Cross the Frost Boss: [[Elerosse]] (ice | + | *Cross the Frost Boss: [[Elerosse]] (ice magic) |
| − | *Kroncinox the Incinerator: [[Marduk]] (fire | + | *Kroncinox the Incinerator: [[Marduk]] (fire magic) |
| − | *Dillweed the Condiment: [[Dangus]] (flavor | + | *Dillweed the Condiment: [[Dangus]] (flavor magic) (once, unheard-of since) |
*Cevin the Chronicler: [[Kord|Cord]] (scribe/fanboy) | *Cevin the Chronicler: [[Kord|Cord]] (scribe/fanboy) | ||
| − | *Stichio the Corpse-Toucher: [[Stich]] (formerly a shaman-terrorist turned crack-rock golem turned time-warp | + | *Stichio the Corpse-Toucher: [[Stich]] (formerly a shaman-terrorist turned crack-rock golem turned time-warp Litch) |
*The Sloth-Elk: Bran (slow, angry creature dude) | *The Sloth-Elk: Bran (slow, angry creature dude) | ||
*Purple the Haze: [[Wadu]] (recently outed as a double agent working for [[The Witch Coven]]) | *Purple the Haze: [[Wadu]] (recently outed as a double agent working for [[The Witch Coven]]) | ||
Latest revision as of 01:12, 23 February 2024
Born from frothy beginnings, The Wizard Council is a modern-day supergroup of legendary killers, thrillers, and miller beer spillers. First assembled at Chaos Wars 16 and continuing to this day, the Wiz-Hards are a swarthy gang of playboy zap-chuckers, drunk ass silver-beards, & potion peddlers with that certain spicy sway. Mostly just stoners, adventurers, and drunk people. ZERDS. Many posers and dirty casuals, after dawning a hat for an event, or playing Wizard Staff one night will claim Wizard heritage, but sorry it's not that simple, and the road to true DARPing Wizardry takes more than a cool name and a drunk night. Wizarding is a lifestyle. So listen up you skanks and peasants...
- Is a storm a brewin' set to fuck up your party-picnic? Are horny ass ogres on the loose in your backyard? Did a shithead necromancer just bring your dead dog back to life? We handle that shit. Call us. We wiz.
- Street Cred: http://www.vice.com/read/LARP-harder (in 2024, Vice Magazine shut down its website for good. This article has been transcribed here on the wiki at Vice Magazine Article)
Contents |
[edit] Wizards Of Note
[edit] The Original Nine Council Wizards
- Radaghast the Brown: Kade (bird magic)
- Metatron the Blue: Troll (word magic, inventor of robot magic)
- Guildenstern the Gold: Kurgan (key magic)
- Alexander the White: Aleksii (cultural appropriation magic)
- Pontius the Purple: Itan (purple magic? duh.)
- Semen-X the Blur: Bishop (time magic, caretaker of the time matrix)
- Maldar the Magician: Bodmin (illusion magic)
- Squim Squam the Shaman: Juicer (diversity hire)
[edit] Full-Time Members
- Rosencrantz the Red: Fish (red-eye dank magic)
- Orgent the Orange: Argent (laughing magic)
- Faticus the Bland: Brute (master of cantrips)
- Man-O-Beer the Weird: Melee Moses (alcohol magic)
- Bilbongus the Percolated: Bilbo (tasty magic)
- Bartlby the Baked/AK47 the Black: Uargvak (black magic)
- Synthesus the Mellodick: Sare (shredulation magic)
- Def the Leopard: Ace (the dude Ace) (butt-rock magic)
- Complainicus the Annoying: Veithryn (master of complaintrips)
- Cackitus Pam: Krow (interdimensional travelling magic)
- Hephaestus the Hasty: Marrick (Artifact creation)
- Rodney of Blasting: Sybion (Destruction magic)
- Foot the Vagidrian: Rotten (Poison Magic)
- Skivonicus the Indigo: Sky (Blue Magic)
- Euclid the Gold: Finn (Geometric Magic)
- Baracca the yet to be determined: Dagger (Shaman magic)
- Marlamad the Lad: Voss (Madness Magic Tongue Twister Magic)
[edit] Acolytes
- Yolo the Yellow: Poo (blunt-rolling magic)
- Post-Humous the Destroyer: Postal (chaos magic)
- Dildongus the Diarrhea: Battle Christ (haggard magic)
- Mojito the Mexican: Ruben (latino magic)
- Bear (oso magic)
[edit] Affiliates
- Brodo Faggins: Ralimar (grill ass bird)
- Kidontis the Forever Young: Rope (youth magic)
- Cross the Frost Boss: Elerosse (ice magic)
- Kroncinox the Incinerator: Marduk (fire magic)
- Dillweed the Condiment: Dangus (flavor magic) (once, unheard-of since)
- Cevin the Chronicler: Cord (scribe/fanboy)
- Stichio the Corpse-Toucher: Stich (formerly a shaman-terrorist turned crack-rock golem turned time-warp Litch)
- The Sloth-Elk: Bran (slow, angry creature dude)
- Purple the Haze: Wadu (recently outed as a double agent working for The Witch Coven)
[edit] Battle Log
- The Storm of Chaos.
- The Witches Council, The Cult of Banzai, Blackwater Shaman Zombies, and Grand Iggi the Corrupted.
- The Son of the Storm of Chaos, The Plague Doctor, and the Foggy Demon.
- Ratchet the Gnoll Girl, Crybaby Pirates, & The Son of the Son of the Storm of Chaos (shittiest installment in the franchise yet).
- Brohemian Grove Blood Magick Millionaires featuring Donald Trump, Moloch, & The High Priest Beef Supreme. The Screech Witch. Aliens. And the quiet rise of the Assassins.
- No Wifi, Low Energy, Dehydration
p.s. You can be a member too! Just submit your resume' and the $20 (non-refundable) registration fee to any full-time members, to then be interviewed for a possible position amongst the council.
