Wizard Council

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Born from frothy beginnings, The Wizard Council is a modern-day supergroup of legendary killers, thrillers, and miller beer spillers. First assembled at Chaos Wars 16 and continuing to this day, the Wiz-Hards are a swarthy gang of playboy zap-chuckers, drunk ass silver-beards, & potion peddlers with that certain spicy sway. Mostly just stoners, adventurers, and drunk people. ZERDS. Many posers and dirty casuals, after dawning a hat for an event, or playing Wizard Staff one night will claim Wizard heritage, but sorry it's not that simple, and the road to true DARPing Wizardry takes more than a cool name and a drunk night. Wizarding is a lifestyle. So listen up you skanks and peasants...

  • Is a storm a brewin' set to fuck up your party-picnic? Are horny ass ogres on the loose in your backyard? Did a shithead necromancer just bring your dead dog back to life? We handle that shit. Call us. We wiz.


Wizards Of Note

The Original Nine Council Wizards

  • Radaghast the Brown: Kade (bird magic)
  • Metatron the Blue: Troll (word magic, inventor of robot magic)
  • Guildenstern the Gold: Kurgan (key magic)
  • Alexander the White: Aleksii (cultural appropriation magic)
  • Pontius the Purple: Itan (purple magic? duh.)
  • Semen-X the Blur: Bishop (time magic, caretaker of the time matrix)
  • Maldar the Magician: Bodmin (illusion magic)
  • Squim Squam the Shaman: Juicer (diversity hire)

Full-Time Members

  • Rosencrantz the Red: Fish (red-eye dank magic)
  • Orgent the Orange: Argent (laughing magic)
  • Faticus the Bland: Brute (master of cantrips)
  • Man-O-Beer the Weird: Melee Moses (alcohol magic)
  • Bilbongus the Percolated: Bilbo (tasty magic)
  • Bartlby the Baked/AK47 the Black: Uargvak (black magic)
  • Synthesus the Mellodick: Sare (shredulation magic)
  • Def the Leopard: Ace (the dude Ace) (butt-rock magic)
  • Complainicus the Annoying: Veithryn (master of complaintrips)
  • Cackitus Pam: Krow (interdimensional travelling magic)
  • Hephaestus the Hasty: Marrick (Artifact creation)
  • Rodney of Blasting: Sybion (Destruction magic)
  • Foot the Vagidrian: Rotten (Poison Magic)
  • Skivonicus the Indigo: Sky (Blue Magic)
  • Euclid the Gold: Finn (Geometric Magic)
  • Baracca the yet to be determined: Dagger (Shaman magic)
  • Marlamad the Lad: Voss (Madness Magic Tongue Twister Magic)


  • Yolo the Yellow: Poo (blunt-rolling magic)
  • Post-Humous the Destroyer: Postal (chaos magic)
  • Dildongus the Diarrhea: Battle Christ (haggard magic)
  • Mojito the Mexican: Ruben (latino magic)
  • Bear (oso magic)


  • Brodo Faggins: Ralimar (grill ass bird)
  • Kidontis the Forever Young: Rope (youth magic)
  • Cross the Frost Boss: Elerosse (ice magic)
  • Kroncinox the Incinerator: Marduk (fire magic)
  • Dillweed the Condiment: Dangus (flavor magic) (once, unheard-of since)
  • Cevin the Chronicler: Cord (scribe/fanboy)
  • Stichio the Corpse-Toucher: Stich (formerly a shaman-terrorist turned crack-rock golem turned time-warp Litch)
  • The Sloth-Elk: Bran (slow, angry creature dude)
  • Purple the Haze: Wadu (recently outed as a double agent working for The Witch Coven)

Battle Log

Chaos Wars 16

  • The Storm of Chaos.

Chaos Wars 17

  • The Witches Council, The Cult of Banzai, Blackwater Shaman Zombies, and Grand Iggi the Corrupted.

Chaos Wars 18

  • The Son of the Storm of Chaos, The Plague Doctor, and the Foggy Demon.

Chaos Wars 19

  • Ratchet the Gnoll Girl, Crybaby Pirates, & The Son of the Son of the Storm of Chaos (shittiest installment in the franchise yet).

Chaos Wars 20

  • Brohemian Grove Blood Magick Millionaires featuring Donald Trump, Moloch, & The High Priest Beef Supreme. The Screech Witch. Aliens. And the quiet rise of the Assassins.

Chaos Wars 21

  • No Wifi, Low Energy, Dehydration

p.s. You can be a member too! Just submit your resume' and the $20 (non-refundable) registration fee to any full-time members, to then be interviewed for a possible position amongst the council.

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