Council of Archmages

Latest revision as of 08:57, 27 February 2024

[edit] The Council of Nine

Radaghast the Brown (Kade) 

Bird Magic

Metatron the Blue (Troll) 

Word Magic, inventor of Robot Magic

Guildenstern the Gold (Kurgan) 

Key Magic - Highly necessary for unlocking doors, signature spell is Knock.

Alexander the White (Aleksii) 

White Magic - Although White Magic is a discipline of healing magic, Alexander the White usually specs for melee. A sub-optimal build, but he can be very effective.

Pontius the Purple (Itan) 

Purple Magic - Little is known about the enigmatic Purple Wizards, but they seem as powerful as they are mysterious.

SEMENx the Blur (Bishop) 

Time Magic, Caretaker of the Time Matrix, frequently lost in the Time Void.

Maldar the Magician (Bodmin) 

Illusion Magic - Successfully cast an illusion that most people mistook for Chaos Wars 16.

Squim Squam the Shaman (Juicer) 

Shamanic Magic, Nature Magic with a minor in Totems - Originally diversity hire, Squim Squam has proven to be an invaluable member of the Council.

[Redacted] 

Formerly [Redacted] the [Redacted], the 9th seat of the Council of Archmages will henceforth be a rotating position to bring fresh ideas and powers to the Council.

Wizards astral projecting in to Midnight Mass while Metatron the Blue reads ancient anti-werewolf scripture

[edit] Council Sanctioned Wizarding Groups

[edit] Chromats

Chromats are wizards that subscribe to the idea of colored magic. This is a popular concept in the wizarding community, but many criticize it for being too restrictive.

[edit] White Mages

Tetris the Alabaster (Scorpion Bob) 

Spatial Magic

Alexander the White (Aleksii) 

White Magic - Although White Magic is a discipline of healing magic, Alexander the White usually specs for melee. A sub-optimal build, but he can be very effective.

[edit] Orange Mages

Orangent the Orange (Argent) 

Laughing Magic - The color orange evokes summertime fun. Days at the beach, camping, bonfires and BBQs. Orange is an active color with warm energy not quite as aggressive as red but quite a bit more so than pink.

[edit] Purple Mages

Pontius the Purple (Itan) 

Purple Magic - Little is known about the enigmatic Purple Wizards, but they seem as powerful as they are mysterious.

[edit] Black Mages

Bartlby the Baked/AK47 the Black (Uargvak) 

Black Magic, Responsible for making all trees grow.

Foot the Vagidrian (Rotten) 

Poison Magic, A Subsect of Green Magic

[edit] Blue Mages

Metatron the Blue (Troll) 

Word Magic, inventor of Robot Magic

Skivonicus the Indigo (Sky) 

Blue Magic

Teal the Teal (Phoenix_LBM) 

Tiffany Blue Magic - A very specific shade of Blue Magic.

[edit] Gold Mages

Guildenstern the Gold (Kurgan) 

Key Magic - Highly necessary for unlocking doors, signature spell is Knock.

Yolo the Yellow (Poo) 

Blunt-rolling Magic, Weapons Expert

Euclid the Gold (Finn) 

Geometric Magic

[edit] Red Mages

Rosencrantz the Red [Deceased] (Fish) 

Red-eye Dank magic. Killed by Stitchio on a PVP server.

[edit] Special Subcommittees

[edit] R & D Subcommittee (Research & Destruction)

This subcommittee was formed for two subjects that are important to all wizards: research and destruction. Only those most adept in these pursuits are appointed to this committee by the Council of Nine to lead the wizard community in their endeavors of researching and destroying.

Rodney of Blasting (Sybion) 

Destruction Magic - Appointed to the subcommittee of R & D as an expert consultant.

Complainicus the Annoying (Veithryn) 

Master of Complaintrips - Highly Destructive noise magic, appointed to the subcommittee for her distinction in the area of psychological warfare.

Kroncinox the Incinerator (Marduk) 

Fire Magic - Appointed for obvious reasons

Post-Humous the Destroyer (Postal) 

Chaos Magic - A rare variety of Sword Mage

Luminous the Lit (Shino) 

Light Magic - Artifact magics, current wielder of the Caged Sun, capable of blinding enemies semi-permanently. Appointed to the subcommittee to take advantage of the Civilian Casualty Clean-up Crew.

[edit] Subcommittee for the Preservation of Madness

Many magic scholars postulate that there is a direct connection between Madness, Sadness, and Magic. This is referred to as the MMS Paradigm. So it is important to maintain a healthy understanding of madness and foster development in mad projects. These committee members risk their sanity to be on the edge of breakthroughs in magic.

Snapplefax the Wise (Arioch) 

Master and Curator of All facts, Master of reading bargain bin tea leaves, appointed for his work with facts from alternate realities.

Marlamad the Lad (Voss) 

Madness Magic and Tongue Twister Magic - Appointed for obvious reasons.

Cackitus Pam (Krow) 

Interdimensional Traveling Magic, Cursed to be unable to say her own name.

[edit] Subcommittee for the Replacement of Shitty Wizard Names

Wizards understand the incredible power that comes from names, and not all names have been the best. This subcommittee is dedicated to finding better names that are more fitting to each wizard.

Def the Leopard (Ace Blackmoor) (Ratboy Ace) 

Butt-rock magic - Currently in the process of finding a new name

Dildongus the Diarrhea (Battle Christ) 

Space Magic Haggard Magic. "You can't cheat space, it's too big." - Currently in the process of finding a new name

The Sloth-Elk (Bran) 

Currently on a journey of self-discovery. Name forthcoming.

Bilbongus the Percolated (Bilbo) 

Tasty Magic (unspecified)

Stichio (Stich) 

Necromancer - Appointed for his work with the dead and dying.

[edit] Subcommittee for Mapping Other Timelines

Wiz Kid the Kid Wizard / Kidontis the Forever Young (Rope) 

Weird Magic, Innovator of Wood Magic

Cross the Frost Boss (Elerosse) 

Ice Magic

Dillweed the Condiment (Dangus) 

Flavor Magic

[edit] Miscellaneous Magical Disciplines

Kevin the Chronicler (Kord) 

Official Council Appointed Scribe

Faticus the Bland (Brute) 

Master of Cantrips and other unimpressive magics

Sogitar the Moist (Torix) 

Soggy Magic, Inventor of droopy hat spells, Wet blanket magic

Oso the Smoothe (Bear) 

Water Magic - An important branch of support magic.

Man-O-Beer the Weird (Melee Moses) 

(alcohol magic)

Malmixious the Poisoner (Doku) 

Advanced Trenchfoot Magic, Toxic Mixology/War Crimes, Jungle Warfare Training Center Certified x2

[edit] Nontraditional Magic Users

[edit] Warlocks

Synthesus the Mellodick (Sare) 

Bardic Magic, Forever with one foot in the Time Void

Cackitus Pam

Krow (interdimensional travelling magic)

[edit] Shamans

Baracca the yet to be determined (Dagger) 

Shaman Magic

Squim Squam the Shaman (Juicer) 

Shamanic Magic, Nature Magic with a minor in Totems - Originally diversity hire, Squim Squam has proven to be an invaluable member of the Council.

[edit] Ejected Members

Purple the Haze (Wadu) 

Outed as a double agent working for The Witch Coven.

[edit] Disgraced Members

Shabazz the Disgraced (Coop) : Formerly Shabazz the Green,

In the year of the pig, earth year two-thousand and nineteen AD, the council convened and denounced [redacted]. Sentenced to eternally walk the void, powerless and shamed. All but erased from the ever moving, all seeing, ever knowing time matrix.

Let his wounds go unhealed, doomed to fester and rot
Let his words jumble and confuse
Let his locks remain forever unopened
Let his pipe weed be ever dusty
With no chairs upon which to perch
Let him always be late
Let his floor ever be lava
Let his poops be hard and bloody

"WE CALL TO ORDER THIS MEETING OF THE COUNCIL OF ARCHMAGES TO VOTE ON THE ACTIONS OF SHABAZZ THE GREEN (Heretofore to be referred to as Shabazz the Disgraced or [Redacted]):

• ON THE ETHEREAL VANDALISM IN THE FIRST DEGREE,

• WILLFUL DISRUPTION OF THE TIME MATRIX,

• PRACTICING ALCHEMY WITHOUT A LICENSE,

• PERFORMING FORBIDDEN MAGICS INCLUDING BUT NOT LIMITED TO:

1. PERFORMING THE IMPERIOUS CURSE;
2. UNSANCTIONED MIND CONTROL;
3. CHARMS AND ENCHANTMENTS BANNED ON THE FIELD OF BATTLE UNDER THE CONVENTION AGAINST NECROMANCY

WE HEREBY BANISH SHABAZZ THE DISGRACED TO THE ETERNAL SHAME AND DISAPPOINTMENT VOID THAT IS NON WIZARDHOOD, AND STRIKE HIS NAME FROM THE ANCIENT RECORDS (GEDDON WIKI)"

—The Council of Nine, Founding Wizard Council Members

[edit] Battles

Chaos Wars 16

• Council of Nine is founded
• Banished the Great Storm of Chaos 16
• Documented in [Magazine] (in 2024, Vice Magazine shut down its website for good. This article has been transcribed here on the wiki at Vice Magazine Article)
  

Battle for the Ring XI

• Fuckedought werewolves at Midnight Mass
• Insurmountable Void Casualties
• Banished a storm and sealed its box with a shooting star
  

Western Wars XVI

• Operation BEEF BULGOGI
  

Battle for the Ring XVI

• False Wizard uprising - many casualties.

p.s. You can be a member too! Just submit your resume' and the $20 (non-refundable) registration fee to any full-time members, to then be interviewed for a possible position amongst the council.