Onion

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Onionbbw15.jpg
Onionpluslonghorn.jpg


Onion is a lady gnoll, courtesy of Blackwater. Give her all your bugs.

Squired to BEAЯ.

Gelf-scripted under Bael.


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"GOOD OL'-FASHIONED LORE 'N' SHIT"


"Deee Onion in DEE Swamp Dee onion ah dee onion, I remember meeting dis gnolls in a swamp. Now I dunno about you but gnolls in swamps seems a bad idea to me, all the gum in dee fur…….well anyways I saw onion sitting on a rock in the middle of the swamp, she was humming and singing the strangest songs. Swamp songs of butts and bugs. She would roar these songs out in unison with the sounds of the swamp. She would wiggle and waggle until bugs came crawling to her song, at that point she would snatch them up giggle and put them in her bag. She was singing to the swamp and the swamp was listening… Who would have thunk it." - Kord the Goblyn


Onion grew up in a big giant Sand Paradise - complete with big giant salty water to swim in, big giant fish for the fire, big giant fruits for the picking, and a big giant town of happy sunny scary faces. Unlike most tall folks, Onion didn't want to be The Best. And anyway, she had no time for it. She was way too busy exploring dirt paths, catching ground-pecking birds, finding tree bugs, and doing very important sunshine napping.


Onion never really had to fight. For some reason, all the little bad guys tended to leave her alone. Sometimes she wondered why she didn't get their attention like the other little folks did. She tried to ask a goblin for the answer in return for the prettiest, shiniest, long-leggiest spider she could find. Instead of answering, he ran into the big water and didn't even steal the gift first. For just a moment, Onion was worried that she wasn't important enough to steal from. Then she remembered how pretty and shiny and long-leggy the spider in her hand was, and that was much more important.


The more Paradises Onion saw, the more she yearned to move. She left the place she'd always called home and, along with her Daggar and a large Blackwater caravan, she traveled north to settle in the great Green Paradise. More water fell from the sky here than Onion thought existed in the whole world. Bugs were bigger than the biggest bugs she'd ever caught. All the plants were extra bright and happy. The not-salty fish here were just as tasty as the salty ones she was used to. There were as many sky honkers as there were ground peckers.


Onion wasted no time in getting down to important business: she fell asleep in seconds flat.

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Stuff about Oooold Uncle Onion

+ AKA Saint Onion, Patron of the Stupid

+ AKA Killer Kinsey of the Science Alliance

+ AKA Big Sir of the Knights of Wildwood

+ AKA Louie Anderson

+ AKA The "Shakira" of Feet

+ AKA Pippi Longjohns

+ AKA "Ay Papi!"

+ When she grows up she wants to be Zel.

+ She's not a vegetarian.

+ She might ruin your medieval experience.

+ Watermelon would be the key to her heart if she had one.

+ She has "the jokes."

Events Thus Far

Battle for the Ring '13, '14, '15, '16 '17, '19

Phoenix Rising '18

Western Wars '15, '16, '17, '18

Chaos Wars '14, '15, '16, '17

Battle of Blackwater '14, '15

Battle of Andor '14, '15

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