The Cerberus

The Cerberus is a pirate ship operating out of The Iron Forest. Her mission statement is to pillage, plunder, drink, sing, and be merry.

Statistics

Type: Race-Built Galleon

Masts:3

Length: 180 ft

Beam: 37 ft.

Displacement: 1900 Tons

Draught: 12.5 ft.

Speed: 10 Knots

Armament: 44 Guns

Upper Deck: 15 X 36lb Long Guns

Gun Deck: 20 X 36lb Long Guns

Bow: 2 X 24lb Bow Chasers

Stern: 2 X 24lb Stern Chasers

Aft Deck: 2 Swivel Guns

Forecastle: 2 Swivel Guns

Appearance

The Cerberus, faster and more heavily armed than most ships of its size, casts an imposing figure across the ocean. Her figurehead is an ebony carved statue of her namesake, the three-headed dog Cerberus.

Crew

The Cerberus is home to the Crew of the Cerberus (Sometimes called The Cerberus Crew and simply The Cerberus). Though the Crews primary function is barding and merriment, they do muster arms in order to plunder, pillage, and generally cause mayhem and destruction on the battlefield. Primarily, their combat function is flanking and line-breaking; smashing through enemy lines with daring boarding parties or even "sailing The Cerberus". The Crew had gained great notoriety amongst many midwestern Belegarth realms for their pleasing voices, bawdy lyrics, and legendary capacity for drink, but for reasons unknown The Cerberus stopped sailing for a number of years. After some time a young Frog by the name of Bug found the derelict Cerberus and decided it was too grand to be left to rot. After mustering his bravery and eating a lot of peanut butter he found, he noticed a dingy being pulled by rope attached to the stern and in it was found Hammer. Now bolstered with companionship and a member of the "lost crew" he decided that there should be more friends upon this mighty ship. After some travels to different ports Therek and Kiwi had been recruited. After some more sailing Fez joined and they noticed they had picked up Rocks and no one said anything about him. With time and after a guy got shoved off while tied to an anchor, beaten, run over with the ship a few times... they have recruited a few petitioners and since made members, Merlin and Pidgeon. On one adventure they took a trip to the far away lands of Wisconsin and had the worst camping trip ever, no seriously any spring wars was better, they invented the dish "Schlokle" which must be made by an ordeal ritual or else it will not work. After a few years Bug had decided to step down as sailing captain and a vote was taken to appoint a new captain and so the Cerberus sails under Captain Rocks, may the gods have mercy, why that guy... Just prior to okfest 2024 a petitioner was bound, gagged and tossed off unceremoniously, it happened so fast they didn't even set up the plank to be walked.

At Armageddon 2025 The Cerberus Crew refused to bow before the storms, and managed to haul a few members from the waters of "Armagerained-on" such as the Scarecrow Banjax (found cohorting with the prow art) and Nea the necro feline litch cat of skaven extermination (no one wanted to ask how they got on the ship, and since they had been quite dedicated to catching the rats and doing unspeakable things to them, Captain Rocks just said go with it and hid Pidgeon in the galley)

Let it be known that at Armageddon 2025 The Cerberus sailed once more! With first mate Hammer flying the colors, Captain Rocks at the prow and delivering orders like a demon from hell. Bug, Pidgeon, Banjax, Kibbles and many more took positions on oars and hulls to a total of 28! At one point Quickie, Bortusk and Mutt of The Jesters Court asking about little dingy's, little did they know we had one ready for them. At lay-on the ship loosed from its moors and started forward (with a bit of help from horde members using spears as propellers and a wandering Tumbles trying to figure out what a harpoon was.) A great shakedown of a voyage after so many years, but with Captain Rocks and First Mate Hammer order was kept and no one fell overboard (the dingy crew did go for a swim though). When weigh anchor was ordered many hurrahs and joyous calls were made, alas no one was prepared for what was to come next, Bug in a moment of elation called a "PILLAGE RAID!!!" With fury, adrenaline and just plain confusion they broadsided and stormed through the gunwhales right into the lines of the Brotherhood of the Falcon, many lost but a victory was had! High on victory they pointed at the next unit and with a shout of "GET THEIR RUM TOO!" They stormed that front as well. But all things must come to an end as in their third and final charge they had been gunned down to the last. After a bit of mulling around, laughter and cries of joy it was found that the Dingy crew survived and were center field still fighting it out! After a last stand worthy of the sagas even the dingy crew had been sunk, but they had been met by many shouts and cheers of those brave and clearly mad sailors!

Most of the crew can be found at events around Hammers trading post or on the field fighting, Captain Rocks can usually be found eating.

If you have a problem, if no one else can help, and if you can find them, maybe you can hire the Cerberus to make it worse but have a great time doing so.

Enlistment is by invitation only. Ranks are:

Captain: Leader of the Crew

Senior Officers: The Captain's right and left hands

- Quartermaster: Treasurer and Logistics

- First Mate: PR

Junior Officers: General officers delegated responsibilities by the Captain

- Bosun/Boatswain: Head of the Junior Officers Crew morale and relations.

- Master Gunner: Armorer, in charge of storing and maintaining loaner weapons.

- Master Carpenter: Campsite planning and in charge of loaner tents.

- Navigator: Trip planning and navigation

- Ship's Surgeon: Responsible for crew medicine bag and other first aid.

- Master Rigger: Flag keeper. Responsible for handling of the colors at events.

- Helmsman: Transportation to and from events.

- Ship's Cook: Cooking for and feeding the crew

Mates: Full members in good standing

Cabin Boys/Lasses: Petitioners

Crew Roster

Captain: Rocks

Senior Officers:

Quartermaster: Therek

First Officer: Hammer

Junior Officers:

Bosun/Boatswain: Fez

Master Gunner: Pidgeon

Navigator: Kiwi

Ship's Surgeon: Merlin

Master Rigger: Bug

Helmsman: Vacant

Master Carpenter: Vacant

Ship's Cook: Vacant

Mates:

Knohr

Lost Crew:

Cabin Boys/Lasses

Kibbles

Buster

Nea

Banjax

Honorary Crew Members:

Chiron

Cabby Berryeater

Dingy Crew Members:

Quickie (involuntarily)

Bortusk (involuntarily)

Mutt (involuntarily)

Trivia

The mainmast is named "Calico's Dick" after the ship's first captain.
Beowulf's quarters currently house a five year supply of peanut butter for unfathomable reasons.
Beowulf doesn't eat peanut butter.
Wolfy however really likes licking peanut butter.
A former Captain, Tossk, is also the King of the Gnolls
2 members (Bug and Rocks) and a petitioner (Pidgeon) won "Best in Show" at 2023 Armageddon Fizzball for "interpretive use of chocolate sauce"
As punishment for not alerting the Crew with "coos" Pidgeon was forced to compete in bardic of okfest 2024. Nearly winning crowd favorite with a costume teapot and singing "I'm a little teapot".
The Dingy Crew fought well at unit battles 2025 Armageddon to much cheers and applause, also to their confusion as they had been voluntold to man the dingy mere minutes prior after asking The Cerberus "Do you have a little dingy?" Well they got a little dingy..

Schlokle Recipe

Step one. Put Bug in charge of bratz, he MUST fail this step. Step two. Rocks must antagonize Bug until the latter loses their collective shit, then yells "fuck it" and makes Schlokle from failed bratz, ricotta cheese, caramelized onions, and one potato. Step three. Very important step! Have Fez taste test for poison. If it's not poisoned good luck getting any from Fez, if it is poisoned, have at it. Step four. After you get rained out, find pan of Schokle in a bag, reheat, good to go.

Crew Requirements

Garb: Though we primarily take influence from early 18th century Caribbean pirates (The Golden age of Piracy), any pirate related garb is encouraged. This includes, but is not limited to, 17th-19th Century Barbary pirates, Chinese pirates such as Chingh Shih, Pirates and privateers of the Napoleonic wars, and even Vikings.

Petitioning: Acceptance into the crew is by invitation only. Your best chance of being invited to join is to hang out with us and let us get to know you.

Initiation: Before a Cabin Boy or Cabin Lass can become a Mate, they must lead a song for the rest of the crew. This rite of entry will usually be performed at camp. The Captain will assign a song to the Cabin Boy/Lass before an event and it will be their responsibility to learn it and perform it in front of all members of the crew assembled. Then, they will be given their belt flag and declared a member of the crew. Newly minted mates are not required to sing their song while out barding, but may if they so desire. It has been recently allowed for petitioners to gain member status with alternate methods, but a song is well received.

Age: All petitioners must be at least 18 years of age or must turn 18 prior to their initiation. With rare exception, petitioners under the age of 21 are not accepted.