Kobold

Kobolds are a very complicated race that seem to cause some confusion among the other races(by other we mean lesser This has led to some odd rumors and old wives tales regarding us. So firstly I will prove these things to be lies! There are girl kobolds they are just very rare even below ground they are not as common. I will discuss this further. As such Kobolds don’t reproduce like fungus like certain envious goblins like to say. I will get to kobolds reproduction later. hmmm aside from that I cant think of any lies about us but they are out there!

Now for the truths. Most kobolds are not strong. In fact they be very weak in body and have eyes that cant stand the light. But all kobolds have very very very strong minds and be very clever. 95% of all kobolds live underground and will never be seen by the likes of you. The great Kobold city of Moseewaa is where most kobolds live. This is a large city deep deep deep underground. It is the size of a large city above ground and has about 3 million kobolds living in it. The underdark is also scattered with much smaller settlements and mining facilities. Also there are small colonies above ground. These are stationary towns that are ether in shallow mining complexes in mountains, old ruins, or even in rare places total above ground houses that are deep deep in dark jungles and forest. Again most kobolds are weak and cant stand the light. But some kobolds are very very very strong and wander all over the above ground lands in groups called Droogs.(yes I got it from Clockwork Orange). The purpose of a Droog is to burn down the lands of pinkys(get to that later) get shinys and collect poisons from plants and animals and ship these goods to the Moseewaa. The leader of a Droog is called The droog Boss. Some Kobolds be so tough and big and smart that they don’t need other Kobolds in their droog so they be by themselves. these are called Odroogs. The Meanest and toughest and strongest and smartest Odroog is also Boss of all Droog Bosses. He is The Kdroog. (I get to be Kdroog) Kobolds have a very complex and complicated system of government and organization that all non kobolds be waaaaay to non kobold(i.e. dumb) to understand. but lets leave it at this female kobold usually are in charge of various offices underground there be know king or Queen or anything like that. In fact underground There is just bosses of various departments and some bosses have power over other bosses while those have in turn have power over other bosses. it be a very great system of bureaucracy. The Fact that Females usually in charge underground combined with their rarity and their shared physical weakness with men kobolds means that that womens almost never ever above ground in a droog. That’s why yous never see them. and you cant go to Moseewa either. we don’t like non kobolds there. For a girl kobold to be in a droog she would need to be just as tough as male kobold in droog and also hate being boss of a government office. Fact is girl kobolds love telling everyone else what to do so this is almost never the case. Kobolds by nature are atheists. Most of us believe that there was earth with everything on it. then Kobolds came around saw that it was awesome and started making it more awesome by living there. Then "Gods" came and made other larger stronger but not as smart beings. with the advent of these new beings kobolds were forced underground and after time grew sensitive to light. We are very very bitter about this. So we HATE elfy, humans, dwarfs and all other pinkys. we have no record of other monsters driving us down so we have no beef with them. We invented the God Ugagagaba as part joke and as part protection to fool other non kobolds. Though there be a few kobolds who not get the joke and think he is real. These be Ugagagaba fanatics. We keep them around and let them believe because it adds to the great confusion. This bitterness is the driving purpose of the Droog. Kobolds farm their own food mine their own ore and smelt their own metals. We create everything we need on our own.( we did after all invent EVERYTING) unlike other races who raid pinky out of parasitic necessity we do it out of pure spite. Spite is what makes a kobold get up in the morning and lets us rest easy in the night. Droogs Burn crops not eat them. we burn whole forests down so elfy cant hide in them we will burn anything down that benefits a pinky. we poison water that pinkys drink or even might drink we will hide diseased garbage in big pinky cities and we will slaughter the livestock of pinky and let it rott. We will steal the wealth of pinky and claim it as our own. We wear it as trophies of grand deeds. This is why Kobolds are obsessed with shinys. to us it is proof of a new deed or act. it is very important for a droog member to be seen with lots of shinys on so other kobolds know that he is important. all wealth that is not claimed as a trophy by a droog member is sent to Moseewaa for decorations for our important places so kobolds can see publicly how important we are as a whole. these decorations will have the name of the droog or Odroog that acquired the wealth. In this way droog gain admiration and fame from the kobold public. Kobolds come in all sorts of colors though it is usually a some sort of shade of green(like yellow green, blue green brown green so on and so forth) or have a green underside or green blobs. Color has nothing to do with class or genetics. it is pretty random. This is why call our selfs the "rainbow of spite". Kobolds have only two organs a massive brain and a massive stomach. We can digest anything and like to eat a lot. our brains are huge to help us trick everybody. Kobolds are born from eggs. that are laid by a female in large clutches then sent to a special cavern that contains many many eggs and young kobolds. Here we are born and raised(by a rare female that isn’t in government) and taught all sorts of things we like to know(such as how to invent everything) Kobolds in addition to wearing all sorts of shinys like to wear multicolored striped fabric of somewhat bright-ish color. Again the more fancy the fabric the more important the kobold. There is a Kobold legend regarding an unnamed Kobold Hero who got caught in an elf trap and gnawed his own arm off. Kobold who wish to be seen as of high rank or of a pious nature will always wear garb that leaves the right sleeve bared to represent the rebounding nature of the kobold.

TYPES OF DROOG MEMBERS there are many different styles of kobolds your going to find in a droog. But two stand out.(these are role-playing devises I just thought of so if you want to be one go for it)

ASHEATER KOBOLD: Kobolds can and do eat EVERYTHING. In fact in some more rural towns deep deep down this has led to the belief that a kobold can get stronger by eating certain things. and only those certain things This has led to the asheater kobold. Asheaters are not only the fire expects that are in a Droog but they also eat only the ash of their enemies. Enemies can usually be defined as the bodies, crops, livestock, buildings forests or basically anything associated with pinky. Eating only ash kinda makes a kobolds a little crazy. These kobolds have a permanent grey blob around their mouth and grey on their hands. their garb is of normal kobold colors but has long since been singed all over and dyed grey from all of the ash.(so in role-playing terms they wear garb that has been washed in a ash and water making it greyed out and they wear normal paint but with grey paint around mouth and hands)

UGAGAGABA FANATIC Like said above the kobold God of awesomenss is something we made up to add to the greta confusion. but there be some kobolds who don’t get it. sometimes these believers are Droog worthy. these kobolds dress and look like normal kobolds but they will always be spouting off stuff about the great and one true god. It is very funny. they also always smite down their enemies in the name of Ugagagaba. it be very cool

Prominent Kobolds: Shrat Khurbin J. Brodhur Jr.See also: Horde