Pirates Versus Ninjas
From BelegarthWiki
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(→Why Ninjas are better(only positives)) |
(→Why Pirates suck(only negatives)) |
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*Charge blindly into combat without thinking | *Charge blindly into combat without thinking | ||
*Eyepatches eliminate depth perception, which is a major combat disadvantage | *Eyepatches eliminate depth perception, which is a major combat disadvantage | ||
+ | *There aren't any good video games about pirates | ||
==See Also== | ==See Also== | ||
*[[Ninja]]s | *[[Ninja]]s | ||
*[[Pirate]]s | *[[Pirate]]s |
Revision as of 20:05, 1 November 2006
There has been a long standing debate in Belegarth and across the internet between Pirates and Ninjas as to which one of the two are better.
Contents |
Why Pirates are better(only positives)
- They know how to sail.
- They have rum.
- They sing jolly good tales of rape and pillage.
- They rape and pillage.
- They learned how to beat scurvy.
- They won on the forums 67% to 33 % [1]
- They have a National Talk Like a Pirate Day. Yar!
- Forkbeard's on our side.
- They've got a starboard, port, aft and stern.
- Johnny Depp.
- Pirate booty.
- Stylish accessorizable hooks.
- A pirate ejaculates fully-grown leprechauns.
- Sometimes pirates kick cats just because
- Stylish accessorizable peg-legs.
- They have canons.
- Jolly Rogers look really cool.
- They have guns
- There were hot female pirates, just lookin for some booty
- They get to cheat!
- Better skin tone from being out in the sun.
- Two words: independent operators.
- Great options for pets.
- Better overall reputation.
- When cursed properly, they posess the powers of the undead.
- Multicultural.
- Ninjas' gunpowder/grenades makes themselves disappear. Pirates' gunpowder/grenades makes the ninjas disappear.
Why Ninjas are better(only positives)
- Have deadly accuracy
- Have Multiple Shurikens with fast and accurate abilities
- Imune to pain
- NEVER give into interragation
- can run Hundred Miles withoute stopping
- Can dislocate Limbs to escape restraints
- Can walk on hands to avoid stumbling on furnishings
- Can Hide in plain sight
- Has mastered multiple weaponry tactics
- Gewd Ninjas got mad infilitration and sneakiness skillz
- ninjas know what a shield is, they just opt not to use one because it only slows them down
- Have a wide variety of super awesome weapons and tools
- Can block bullets
- Totally rad guitar skills
- May or may not be robots
- Can fly
- Ninjas can rape and pillage as effectively as a pirate can, but they can do it without being caught. Undetected rape is especially impressive.
- Kumitsu Hayabusa, the Urban Ninja [2]
- Can cut buildings in half
- Don't need to edit out the pirates' positives to win the contest
- Have a better website. www.realultimatepower.net
- Never heard the phrase "And then he flipped out like a pirate and killed everyone" have you?
- Careful planning and keen reflexes
- Ninja magic lets them make people's heads explode just by looking at them.
- Can kill a shipfull of pirates by poisoning the rum supply.
- Ninjas have way better video games (Shinobi, Tenchu, Ninja Gaiden, etc.)
Why Ninjas suck(only negatives)
- Don't know what a shield is
- They have legions of fanboys following them. The fanboys know nothing about them.
- Anime has killed any coolness they may have once possessed
- Zanark likes them.
- They respect life
- They suck at highjacking ships
- RealUltimatePower.net
- Ninja Burger
- If Bruce Wayne didn't think joining up with ninjas was worth it, then that's just sad.
- They are almost always under orders from a daimyo/feudal lord, so they're really just pawns.
- Bullets are faster than shuriken.
- So are cannonballs, and they hurt way more. Quantity > quality.
- Serious lack of creativity in the clothing department.
- Ninjas are always fully covered, therefore they have pasty skin.
- Zero sense of humor.
- They couldn't kill Tom Cruise in "The Last Samurai." Seriously!
Why Pirates suck(only negatives)
- After 9 months a sea and only salty ocean baths they stink
- Orlando Bloom
- They get more Poon Tang. You might not think this is a negative, but then you start to think about the fact that about 95% of their time is spent on a ship with other guys and you realize where most of the poon tang comes from.
- Low IQ
- Wooden legs make for poor balance
- Pirate guns can only fire once before needing three minutes to reload (Which is useless anyway because ninjas can block bullets)
- Pirate swords aren't as good as ninja swords
- Prone to alcoholism
- Apparently, they can't win the Geddon.org Pirates vs. Ninja contest without editing away the ninja's positives.
- Charge blindly into combat without thinking
- Eyepatches eliminate depth perception, which is a major combat disadvantage
- There aren't any good video games about pirates