The Many Life Teachings of Keggleskin

The Many Life Teachings of Keggleskin

Lesson 1: When outnumbered:
Start yelling as much gibberish as possible, when you are finished with this yelling, tell everyone in the immediate vincinity that you have just summoned one of the following:
1) A great shield that protects you, giving you +3 armor to all striking zones.
2) A greater dire rat, which you cannot see but is very deadly.
3) A poisonous fog, which slowly kills everyone in a 100 ft. radius.
Now begin flapping your arms very wildly, this seems to help scare the enemy.

Lesson 2: When flanking:
Make as much noise as possible, this might not be what some see as a fitting idea. Though, it will cause many people to turn their back to your allies. Yell "Watch your back" and then continue to throw very many rocks in their general direction.

Lesson 3: When catching squigs:
Place a squigs favorite meal in a location that they'll easily find. This is usually mushrooms or something very juicy of meat. Once they go to eat this meal jump on their back, making sure to put a good thumb in their eye, and then continue to hassle with them till they seem willing to fight for you. This will show your very grand awesome power and the ability to be awesome with squigs.

Lesson 4: When squaring off:
Yell "watch your back" or another variant of a very distracting phrase, take a few steps back (but within reach of your very very deadly weapon) allowing them to look behind them or the general direction of which you pointed, then with an greatly amazing leap do some damage. If you die, or anything, then you can try again in about 5 minutes.

Lesson 5: When squaring off, again:
Tell them you will kill them in the great timing of 3 Orc. Start counting while manuevering yourself towards an ally/teammate that will help you kill them. If this is not possible, then on the count of 2 begin attacking with a thousand furies.