The Dirty Words

Ready to shredulate.

The Dirty Words are an outfit of medieval-experience-ruining bandit owl-people from Pyke. You could flood a city with the fucks they do not give.

Members

• Sare - with grampa's guitars and voice of tattered gold
• Gristle - with hollowed skins and the lore of old
• Scottimus - with rumble of earth and caller of wings

Former Members

• Yew - with widdly-wah magicks and madness of kings
• Lloki - with the sexyphonics
• Bear - with the also sexyphonics

Origin

By decree of Dyse, Sare did steal the very lute from the hands of the shameless Sunchild, there upon the hard and dusty plains of Skull Hollow, at Western Wars VI. To a small and heat-stricken audience, Sare did thereby growl them the tale of cursed outerwear, and similarly cursed leggings of blue cotton. In this tale he asked the very soil of the earth how it fared on that day, and it did say that it was trodden on; the soil of the earth did beseech of Sare how he fared, and Sare did respond in kind; in turn Sare implored all those who listened to give this reply when they are inquired as to their status. Because Sare was not provided a striking implement for the strings of the lute, Sare's fingers did leak the blood his fathers before him upon the wood of Sunchild's lute. The blood enraptured the mind of Sunchild through a spell, and for years following Sunchild would follow Sare and shower him with incessant compliments.

At the following Western Wars, the world did flood for the gods saw fit that humankind should be wiped away. The Western Belegrim huddled beneath the last refuge given them, and there they did call Sare forth to 'Sare-a-nade' them once more. It was then that the plan was wrought: at Chaos Wars XIV, Sare would stand before the masses and compete in the Bardic Tournament.

It was upon that fateful night that Sare did as was planned, to the wild reception of all in attendance (with the exception of the judges of the Tournament, who were in disbelief that Sare had composed the lay of cursed outerwear and leggings of blue cotton). Despite receiving no officiated laurels for his performance, Sare went on to be giggle-tackled by Dopp immediately following the rendition, to perform more songs at Bablemir Camp, and to be unanimously voted as Best Nightlife Entertainment of the event.

And lo, it was then that it was planned by the keepers of the land and the holders of the Wars of Chaos that Sare should return the year following with his companions, The Dirty Words.

Chaos Wars XV

The darkling sky swirled as Paksha began the conjuration, following his bestial feeding ritual. He spoke the words, roiled the audience into his chaotic spirit, and together they invoked the presence of The Dirty Words. It was a joyous occasion, with much dancing, singing, rejoicing, and in the case of Kargos and Orren, much stomping. Inscribed below is the horrible list of the band's deeds as they swooped over the lands of Chaos:

• Wicked Little Man
• Cradlekind
• When Did the Circle Close?
• Hypocrite Blues
• Sheepcounting
• Observationist
• You Deserve
• E-Dart
• Angels Retreat
• The Hyenas
• Okay
• Paper Planes (M.I.A.)
• More
• Damn Jacket

During the lay of The Hyenas, the words were modified to fit the theme of Chaos Wars: 'Hair down in my eyes, I clickety-clack as I sport my Babylon gear. Light them up like a family in a tree in the Latnemir sun. Light another fire, daddy, tell us all again just how the West was won.' And when the final note rang out, the frenzied crowd did pluck Sare from the stage and devour him thus.

Chaos Wars XVI

The Dirty Words are said to be flocking above, ready to spear out of the night to pluck your medieval experience from the grassy plains of the Silver Bell Ranch come July. Upon the wind, if you listen carefully, you can hear the words, I know...I know...I know...