Susan the Bashful
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| − | [[Category: | + | [[Category:Blank/Joke Entries]] |
| − | Susan the Bashful | + | Susan the Bashful was a [[club]] with a will of her own, who had chosen [[Sare]] as her slave. She hurt many people, hurt them right in their stupid faces, until her fatal break in Tir na nOg. |
== Nature == | == Nature == | ||
| − | Forged ere the eleventh [[Chaos Wars]], Susan was originally intended to be weight-training to quicken the use of a lighter [[sword]]. However, her beguiling weight and speed enraptured her unfortunate bearer, and the aforementioned lighter sword has scarcely been used since. Her striking surface | + | Forged ere the eleventh [[Chaos Wars]], Susan was originally intended to be weight-training to quicken the use of a lighter [[sword]]. However, her beguiling weight and speed enraptured her unfortunate bearer, and the aforementioned lighter sword has scarcely been used since. Her striking surface was longer than some clubs, allowing for fewer haft hits on opponents. The core of Susan was a PVC pipe, the handle portion of which had been left unpadded. This aspect of the weapon warded away the interest of other fighters. |
| − | When other fighters | + | When other fighters did wield Susan, in either moments of curiosity or emergency, they experienced a form of betrayal. The weapon donned a very One-Ringish attribute by slipping from the hand, yielding to an opponent's strike, failing to connect in a shot that would otherwise do so, or any number of troubling outcomes. Sare admonished over and over that, "She will betray you." Few listened. Many died. |
| − | Susan, of her own wicked volition, | + | Susan, of her own wicked volition, often aimed for an opponent's face if she was displeased with them. Sare has testified heartily that he was not responsible for these blows, and that the opponent must have done something to offend the club in some way. Victims were cited to have committed several offenses to the club, including being [[rhinohide|rhinohiding]] [[noob|noobstars]], or maybe saying something to insult the weapon (for example, her unpadded handle), having the fight name "[[Juicer]]," or just looking at her the wrong way. [[Ekam]] has received two bloody noses for the latter offense. |
| − | She | + | She bore the inscription, "Susan the Bashful" upon her haft, followed by the sickle symbol. |
== Reign of Terror == | == Reign of Terror == | ||
| − | Susan has pounded the face of everyone in [[Babylon]] at least | + | Susan has pounded the face of everyone in [[Babylon]] at least ten times. |
| − | Susan has haunted the dreams of Sare's hearthmate [[ | + | Susan has haunted the dreams of Sare's hearthmate [[Gamin]], committing awful acts of violence. |
Susan broke [[Ender]]'s neck and buried him at the bottom of a river. | Susan broke [[Ender]]'s neck and buried him at the bottom of a river. | ||
| − | Susan | + | Susan asphyxiated children in their cradles. |
Susan didn't like ''The Usual Suspects''. | Susan didn't like ''The Usual Suspects''. | ||
Susan voted Bush/Cheney. Twice. | Susan voted Bush/Cheney. Twice. | ||
| + | |||
| + | == Death == | ||
| + | |||
| + | On the eve of the Tir na nOg mini-event, Susan traveled with Sare to the grounds of this fierce battle to find some unofficial fighting happening ere the night's festivities. After smashing a few Tir na nOgians in the face in good-natured fun, Susan led Sare to a duel with [[Gustav]]. Susan swirled in the air in what would be her final Colincopter, feigning for the shoulder and then swiping down to Gustav's leg, where, upon this man's mighty shin, there was a snap. With her final breath, as it were, Susan instinctively flew back up for a high cross, where her broken core exacted her final act of raging retribution upon Gustav's dome before Sare could stop her apocalyptic throes. | ||
[[Image:Susan.jpg|center]] | [[Image:Susan.jpg|center]] | ||
Latest revision as of 00:42, 10 March 2020
Susan the Bashful was a club with a will of her own, who had chosen Sare as her slave. She hurt many people, hurt them right in their stupid faces, until her fatal break in Tir na nOg.
[edit] Nature
Forged ere the eleventh Chaos Wars, Susan was originally intended to be weight-training to quicken the use of a lighter sword. However, her beguiling weight and speed enraptured her unfortunate bearer, and the aforementioned lighter sword has scarcely been used since. Her striking surface was longer than some clubs, allowing for fewer haft hits on opponents. The core of Susan was a PVC pipe, the handle portion of which had been left unpadded. This aspect of the weapon warded away the interest of other fighters.
When other fighters did wield Susan, in either moments of curiosity or emergency, they experienced a form of betrayal. The weapon donned a very One-Ringish attribute by slipping from the hand, yielding to an opponent's strike, failing to connect in a shot that would otherwise do so, or any number of troubling outcomes. Sare admonished over and over that, "She will betray you." Few listened. Many died.
Susan, of her own wicked volition, often aimed for an opponent's face if she was displeased with them. Sare has testified heartily that he was not responsible for these blows, and that the opponent must have done something to offend the club in some way. Victims were cited to have committed several offenses to the club, including being rhinohiding noobstars, or maybe saying something to insult the weapon (for example, her unpadded handle), having the fight name "Juicer," or just looking at her the wrong way. Ekam has received two bloody noses for the latter offense.
She bore the inscription, "Susan the Bashful" upon her haft, followed by the sickle symbol.
[edit] Reign of Terror
Susan has pounded the face of everyone in Babylon at least ten times.
Susan has haunted the dreams of Sare's hearthmate Gamin, committing awful acts of violence.
Susan broke Ender's neck and buried him at the bottom of a river.
Susan asphyxiated children in their cradles.
Susan didn't like The Usual Suspects.
Susan voted Bush/Cheney. Twice.
[edit] Death
On the eve of the Tir na nOg mini-event, Susan traveled with Sare to the grounds of this fierce battle to find some unofficial fighting happening ere the night's festivities. After smashing a few Tir na nOgians in the face in good-natured fun, Susan led Sare to a duel with Gustav. Susan swirled in the air in what would be her final Colincopter, feigning for the shoulder and then swiping down to Gustav's leg, where, upon this man's mighty shin, there was a snap. With her final breath, as it were, Susan instinctively flew back up for a high cross, where her broken core exacted her final act of raging retribution upon Gustav's dome before Sare could stop her apocalyptic throes.
