Hyoo-man

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Hyoo-man still like trees.

Humans (aka HYOO-MAHNZ) are ugly hairless apes who have lost their prehensile tail. The males are typically bigger, the females are typically unstable and more ferocious. Edible and able to be housebroken (if you can get used to the smell). Some humans are exceptionally smart, almost as smart as fish.

They tend to live and travel in herds.

Things HYOO-MANZ like to say:

  • "Mornin!"
  • "Hey-yahh..."
  • "Ehl-oh!"


Things you can teach HYOO-MANZ to do:

  • Fetch
  • Beg
  • Die
  • Irrigate Farmland
  • Initiate Commerce in a Region
  • Establish a Form of Government (for later corruption)
  • Shake Hands
  • Roll-Over

HYOO-MANZ also show their teeth when they are happy. They are tastiest when you can make them smile and then terrify them (Scientific explanation: their meat is marinated in EN-DOOR-FINS and AHDRINOLINE) right before you eat them.


(See also Pinkies)

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